Finding True Love
Dr. Laura's "Is it Love?" Test
Are you ready to take Dr. Laura's "Is it Love?" test? After taking this test, you'll quickly know whether your relationship has a good chance of growing into a long-lasting relationship, and maybe even marriage. Print this page, and then answer each question with "yes" or "no." After taking the test, check your score results below. Afterwards, have your boyfriend/girlfriend take the test to see how you compare. Most importantly, be honest! Your future happiness depends on it.
1_____ Can you say there's no jealousy in your relationship?
2_____ Is your relationship free of drug and alcohol abuse?
3_____ Can you say you're never asked to compromise your moral values?
4_____ Do you appreciate and enjoy each other's family and friends?
5_____ Have you discussed your long-term goals for faith, family and career in detail?
6_____ Do you have complete confidence in each other?
7_____ Has experience shown him/her to always be truthful and open with8_____ Does he/she always follow through on promises and commitments?
9_____ Do you talk openly and easily with each other about everything? (Including this test?)
10_____ Do you both listen carefully to one another and try to understand each other's point of view?
11_____ Do you practice the same faith by praying and going to church together regularly?
12_____ Do you both agree that marriage is forever?
13_____ Do you refrain from using manipulation or blackmail to get your own way?
14_____ Do you like spending time together doing different activities? (Not just watching TV, mall shopping or talking on the phone together. I recommend volunteering for church, charity and civic projects -- or joining school clubs, bands, debate teams or sports programs.)
15_____ When you have a disagreement or the going gets tough, do both of you respond respectfully with patience and understanding?
16_____ Have your family and friends told you they approve of your relationship -- that they feel it's making you a better person?
17_____ Do you limit your physical relationship to holding hands and simple kisses?
18_____ Have you seen each other during good times and bad? (Virtues shine during adversity. Never rush to marriage. -- you'll miss critical signs of good or bad character traits.)
19_____ Do you both stay away from pornographic magazines, videos, Internet, etc.?
20_____ If your future spouse had a serious accident that maimed or disfigured him/her for life, would your love remain strong? Could your love survive without physical expression?
21_____ Do each of you dress, speak and act modestly?
22_____ Can you admit your own shortcomings and discuss them openly?
23_____ Are you both generous in making sacrifices for others?
24_____ Does your sweetheart already have the qualities needed to be a super spouse and a wonderful parent for your children?
25_____ Are you willing to give up power and let your loved one control some of the important decisions and circumstances? (True love means frequently surrendering your will to meet your loved one's needs and wishes without violating your moral values.)
Here's the Scoring . . .
Scoring: Give yourself one point for each "yes" answer and zero points for each "no" answer.
22 to 25 pts. "Solid as a Rock!". . . It's True Love! Congratulations on a very strong relationship.
19 to 21 pts. "Looking Good!". . . You're relationship has good potential. With a little work, you can become "Solid as a Rock."
15 to 18 pts. "Warning Signals!". . . It might be "Infatuation." Work on the "No's." Take the test again in 6 months and again in 12 months. Hopefully your scores will improve and your relationship will grow. If your relationship doesn't greatly improve within a year, you should consider ending it.
Below 15 pts. "Red Alert!". . . Sorry, this may be painful to hear, but it's probably time to say "goodbye." It's either blind infatuation or there are other serious problems. (If you're married and you scored below 15 points, don't give up -- get some good marriage counseling ASAP.)
** Bonus Question **
Are both of you committed to saving sex for marriage? If yes, add 2 points to your score.
Important Tip from Dr. Laura . . .
"It's difficult to get an accurate reading from my "Is it Love?" test if you're sexually active. Sex is so powerful that it's often blinding before marriage. That's one of the reasons I say, 'Don't shack up!' If you're sexually active, my first recommendation is to stop having sex immediately. With sex out of the picture, it will be easier to see how each of you responds in the critical areas that build strong, healthy, lasting relationships. It's definitely challenging to save sex for marriage - but it's worth the wait and it helps assure a happier marriage. Go ahead - make the commitment. You'll be glad you waited!"
Dr. Laura's Experience Helps Her Radio Callers
Dr. Laura's success on the radio, and in life, is a tribute to her willingness to learn and grow through experience. On November 3, 1998, Dr. Laura told her radio listeners:
"I have undergone profound changes over the course of my life -- most important of which is my journey from basically an atheist, to an observant Jew. In my 20's, I was my own moral authority. The inadequacy of that way of life is painfully obvious today. At the same time, my early experiences have taught me how much better it is to live by an objective and absolute standard of right and wrong, preferably a standard set by God. And that is the hard won wisdom I try to pass along to others . . . everyday on this program."
(LoveMatters.com has given permission to Pro-Life America to publish the Dr. Laura "Is it Love?" test on this web site. LoveMatters.com will publish this same Dr. Laura test on it's upcoming web site and within a 28-page newspaper in 1999. Contact Pro-Life America for details.)
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